Tom Daley Reflects on Diving, Grief, and Personal Growth

Plymouth, England — Tom Daley, Britain’s most decorated diver, opens up about his journey in sports, personal loss, and self-acceptance. Born in 1994, Daley made history as the youngest competitor at the 2008 Olympics at age 13 and became a world champion in 2009. He won gold in synchronized diving at the Tokyo Olympics alongside Matty Lee before retiring in 2024.

Daley recalls his love for diving, starting at seven when he found swimming mundane. “Diving was much more fun,” he said. His first attempt from the 10-meter platform was terrifying. “I remember crawling to the edge because I was too scared to walk,” he added. That fear turned into a passion, igniting a career decorated with numerous accolades.

Growing up, Daley felt supported by his family, especially his father, Rob, who was always in his corner. Rob taught him perspective, saying, “You came 30th, but you’re still the 30th best in the world.” However, after Rob’s death from a brain tumor in 2011, Daley struggled with grief while continuing to compete. “I felt that I had to be the strong one,” he expressed.

It wasn’t until he met his husband, screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, that he began to process his loss. “He would ask why I didn’t speak about my dad,” Daley said. This conversation helped him create space for his grief, which remains a part of his life at significant milestones.

Daley and Black met in 2013, finding common ground in shared experiences of loss. “It was the first time I could complain about success to somebody who knew I wasn’t really complaining,” Daley reflected. Following their relationship’s evolution, he decided to publicly come out, revealing his private life for the first time. “It was terrifying… but once it was out there, I was glad,” he said.

Now a retired athlete and father of two, Daley discussed the challenges of balancing his roles. He admits that adjusting to life after competition is difficult. “I’m so used to being disciplined that even if I’m out for dinner and someone asks if I’d like a glass of wine, it takes me a second to realize I am actually allowed to,” he shared. Daley also confronted the toll that pressure and expectations took on his mental health during his career.

Despite the challenges, he remains appreciative of his childhood and the support from his family. “I am so glad my parents celebrated whoever I was,” he said, reflecting on his innocent past. Through his journey in diving and life, Daley emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and carries his family’s legacy with pride.