Reality TV Stars Challenge Traditional Mormon Norms

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah – The public image of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is transforming as women from popular reality TV shows showcase new perspectives on Mormon life. This shift is highlighted by Heather Gay, a key figure on Bravo‘s The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Gay has shared her personal journey of leaving the church in her bestselling memoir Bad Mormon and in the new docuseries Surviving Mormonism on Peacock.

In a recent interview on Newsweek’s The Parting Shot podcast, Gay discussed how women are using reality TV as a means to express their identity and power in what she described as a patriarchal structure. “Mormon men are like little kings of their own kingdoms,” she noted, emphasizing the challenges women face within the church’s hierarchy.

These reality shows offer insightful glimpses into modern Mormon life, often contrasting sharply with traditional values. “I still feel like I’m Mormon every time I wake up,” Gay admitted, revealing the emotional complexity of her journey. She explores a life marked by drinking and single motherhood on RHOSLC, while shows like The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives depict emerging narratives around divorce and financial independence.

Gay pointed out that reality TV opens the door to conversations about topics previously shrouded in shame among Mormons, such as drinking and premarital sex. Taylor, another cast member of SLOMW, echoed this sentiment, stating that discussing these issues makes others feel less isolated.

The dramatic shift in representation challenges the church’s conservative images while presenting an alternate reality where women assert their independence. “It’s not just your worship on Sunday; it’s your behavior every day of the week,” Gay said, reflecting on how deeply embedded church practices are in personal identity.

Gender roles within Mormonism have also come under scrutiny as these women rewrite traditional narratives. Jen Affleck from SLOMW shared her experience navigating gender expectations with her husband, Zac Affleck, who suggested exploring a balanced relationship in response to her growing career opportunities.

However, stepping away from traditional norms comes with complications. Gay admitted to feeling “survivor’s guilt” as she enjoys privileges many ex-Mormons may not possess. She revealed that while her life has dramatically improved after leaving the church, this isn’t the case for all Mormons who leave.

Mayci Neeley, also from SLOMW, continues to be an active church member while openly discussing LGBTQ+ issues, drawing attention to the church’s complex stance on social matters. Taylor, who left the church, emphasized her struggle reconciling her faith with the church’s past policies on race, particularly regarding the priesthood.

Through their stories, these women unveil the silenced narratives of those within the church and push for modernization. “If you are the true church on the face of the Earth, you should be strong enough to hear people that had bad experiences within that church,” Gay said, calling for accountability and understanding within the church.