Eva Mendes Reflects on Parenting Challenges with Daughters

Actress Eva Mendes has shared insights into her parenting challenges, particularly focusing on a habit she finds difficult to break. Mendes, a mother of two daughters, Esmeralda Amada, aged 10, and Amada Lee, aged 8, spoke candidly about the issue during her appearance on a podcast with Dr. Shefali.

Mendes, who is 50 years old, revealed that one of her toughest struggles as a mother is managing her tendency to yell. In her conversation, she noted that while she does not yell in a “mean” way, the act of yelling itself is something she relates culturally, but she is deeply committed to improving this aspect of her parenting.

“I think one of the hardest patterns for me is yelling. Because I don’t yell when they need me,” Mendes stated. “In my mind, it’s not like a mean yell. But it doesn’t matter, I yell.” She further expressed that this behavior is rooted in cultural patterns and familial influences.

Reflecting on her upbringing, Mendes explained that her parents, Eva Pérez Suárez and Juan Carlos Méndez, utilized fear as a method of discipline. She expressed concern over repeating this method with her own children and aims to break free from the cycle.

“My mother was definitely, again, so loving and so amazing but it was definitely like raising us by fear,” she explained. “I hope I don’t look back in 20 years and go, ‘Oh, shoot. I did that.’ Because I really don’t want to raise by fear.” Mendes visibly became emotional as she discussed her journey to erase fear-based discipline from her parenting approach.

In a separate interview on The Drew Barrymore Show, Mendes talked about the identity shifts she experienced after becoming a parent. Mendes stated that while initially, parenting brought about clarity, it also eventually made her feel a sense of lost identity.

“I actually didn’t feel lost, I felt very clear, but then I felt lost,” Mendes recounted. “The cliché of, ‘OK, who am I now that the kids can survive on their own?’” Even as her daughters are still young, Mendes navigates this evolving role, striving to balance her individual identity with her responsibilities as a mother.

This revelation from Mendes came amidst her decision to step away from Hollywood to focus on her family, a choice shared by her partner, actor Ryan Gosling. Gosling himself articulated a similar sentiment earlier, noting in a Wall Street Journal interview that family considerations guide his career choices.