Navigating Online Friendships: A Married Man’s Dilemma

NEW YORK, NY — A married man’s curiosity about connecting with someone he finds interesting on social media is sparking a dialogue about the complexities of online relationships. The 51-year-old has started following a woman on Instagram and engaging with her posts on Substack, but now finds himself uncertain about whether to send her a direct message (DM) for a deeper connection.

Writing in a recent column, the man expressed his desire to form an online friendship, insisting he does not intend to initiate anything inappropriate. He shared, ‘I don’t want to seem creepy.’ In response, advice from various sources highlighted the importance of clarity in online communication.

Experts and relationship columnists suggest that direct messaging can be a natural extension of the existing interaction. One suggested, “You can tell her you’re not sure about the etiquette of communicating this way, and that you don’t want to be weird. Oftentimes, simply stating, ‘I hope this is OK! Just trying to be friends!’ can set a friendly tone.”

Connecting on shared interests is encouraged, and commenters recommend keeping interactions low-stakes. “If there’s no response, let it go,” one piece of advice noted. While some readers emphasized the importance of transparency, encouraging the man to discuss his intentions with his wife, others pointed out that casual interactions online aren’t necessarily problematic.

One commenter described a similar situation with her 80-year-old father, who regularly engages with men and women online about local issues. She stated, “He knows he’s not being creepy, and my mom knows he has these discussions.”

Yet, the situation provoked mixed reactions, with many urging the letter writer to reflect on his motivations for wanting to establish the relationship in the first place. One reader advised caution, suggesting that, if not for collaboration purposes, online interactions could lead to complications. “You need to be honest about what you’re hoping to achieve,” they warned.

Discussions about friendships formed through social media platforms are increasingly common as people navigate their online personas. While engaging with interesting figures can enhance one’s social experience, experts recommend maintaining boundaries, especially when already in a committed relationship. It’s essential to assess whether the connection feels appropriate and if it would meet the standards of respect and transparency in a marriage.

As the conversation continues to unfold, the letter writer is left contemplating how best to proceed. His journey reflects larger themes concerning the nature of online interactions and the complexities of balancing curiosity with commitment in a digital age.