Comedian’s Light-Hearted Tribute to George Washington’s Linguistics

Comedian Nate Bargatze delighted audiences with a humorous depiction of George Washington’s linguistics decisions on his latest show. The act, which aired recently, showcased a fictionalized narrative in which the first President of the United States, while envisioning the future of his country, playfully challenges the complexities of the English language.

In a whimsical portrayal, Washington reportedly led his troops in rallying cries to dictate their own linguistic destiny. “We will live through the battle ahead because we fight to control our own destiny, to create our own nation, and to do our own thing with the English language,” the humorously scripted Washington was quoted as saying, emphasizing the nation’s independence not only politically but linguistically.

Adding to the comedy, Bargatze’s Washington articulates aspirations for a numeric identity, claiming, “I dream that one day, our great nation will have a word for the number ‘twelve.’ We shall call it ‘a dozen.'” With a deadpan delivery, another character questions which other numbers might earn special names, to which Washington coyly responds, “None.”

The laugh continued as Washington announced strategies for naming food items, suggesting that animals receive different titles post-mortem. “We will also have two names for animals – one when they are alive, and a different one when they become food. So cows will be beef, and pigs will be pork,” Washington explained. When a soldier inquired about chickens, Washington responded unequivocally, “That one stays.”

Bargatze did not shy away from poking fun at the peculiar terminology for various American delicacies. He humorously corrected misunderstandings about hamburgers and buffalo wings, noting, “If it only were that simple. A hamburger is made of beef, just as a buffalo wing is made of chicken.” He added reassuringly, “But fear not, men: hot dogs will not be made of dogs.” A comedic moment followed as Washington cheekily suggested that a soldier questioning the contents of a hot dog jump overboard.

The skit concludes with a nod to education reforms, introducing ‘kindergarten’ as the first year of schooling and wryly questioning what the second year would be labeled, delivering the punchline: “First grade.”

In related stand-up material, Bargatze explored the theme of education through his personal experiences, joking about the underestimated novelty of community college education. “A lot of people probably don’t know this,” he quipped, “but community college is like, ‘You’re probably staying in your community.'” He humorously recounted taking speech class while friends attended “real” classes like business and math.