Jen Hatmaker Reveals Painful Marriage Breakdown in New Memoir

AUSTIN, Texas — At 2:30 a.m. on July 11, 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke to the sound of her husband whispering on the phone. “I just can’t quit you,” he murmured, leaving her stunned. As she detailed in her new memoir, “Awake,” this moment marked the end of her life as she knew it.

Hatmaker, a pastor’s wife, mother of five, and bestselling Christian author, was blindsided by her husband Brandon’s infidelity. The couple had founded the evangelical Austin New Church in Texas in 2008. Hatmaker described her midnight discovery as something she never thought possible. “To some degree, I almost disassociated,” she told The Post.

Over the next four hours, Hatmaker combed through Brandon’s computer, where she uncovered a “trail of betrayal.” She confirmed the affair had lasted a “devastating time span,” one that resulted in financial chaos for the family due to lavish gifts he bought for his girlfriend. When Brandon woke up the next morning, she made the decision to throw him out.

“It was so shocking and stunning, and I almost could not process it,” she recalled. Following their separation, Hatmaker faced depression and anxiety while raising five children alone during the pandemic. She felt like a failure after a decade of advocating for women’s empowerment within the church.

Hatmaker grew up in Kansas and married Brandon at 19. Together, they appeared to lead a progressive Christian life, yet their marriage was unraveling even before the affair came to light. In her memoir, she shared that they hadn’t been sexually intimate for two years and had started marriage counseling just months before the divorce.

As she led a life in the public eye, dealing with her husband’s betrayal became increasingly challenging. Hatmaker recounted the warning signs: “All the warning signs were there, but I did not want to face those.” Brandon made no effort to reconcile, telling her the feelings needed for that weren’t present anymore.

A year after their split, he became engaged to another woman. Hatmaker’s memoir reflects more than just a divorce; it’s about her journey to rebuild her life emotionally, financially, and spiritually without the church that had defined her career.

The realization of the trauma from her marriage led her to cut ties with the church. “I found the environment so triggering,” she said, expressing her struggle with others’ pity upon seeing her back in a space she once called home.

Despite her challenges, Hatmaker has experienced new joys since the separation. She welcomed her first grandchild in August, is in a long-distance relationship with author Tyler Merritt, and hopes her story resonates with other women facing upheaval. “I am in the driver’s seat,” she said confidently. “I’ll never outsource my life again.”