Behind the Scenes: Insights from Bourdain’s Assistant on Their Unique Bond

NEW YORK, N.Y. — In an exclusive excerpt from her forthcoming memoir, “Care and Feeding,” Laurie Woolever reflects on her deep, complex relationship with the late Anthony Bourdain, providing a poignant look at the moments leading up to his tragic death by suicide in June 2018.

Woolever, 50, served as Bourdain’s assistant from 2009 until his passing, handling not only professional responsibilities but also navigating the intricacies of his high-profile life. “If I’m not five minutes early, I’m late,” she remarks, noting Bourdain’s notorious punctuality. Their collaboration was more than just a job; it blossomed into a friendship marked by humor and trust.

Describing her role, Woolever quips, “Assistant maybe doesn’t feel like the most accurate title. Chief of staff? But it was a staff of one.” She not only managed Bourdain’s schedule but co-authored his projects and even acted as his publicist, embodying a commitment that went beyond mere assistance.

Reflecting on her dreams of Bourdain’s return, she nostalgically shares, “Wouldn’t it be great if that dream was real? And I got to be the one to say, ‘Dude, there was a pandemic in 2020.’” Such moments reveal the enduring bond Woolever feels, despite Bourdain’s untimely departure.

Scheduled to be released on March 11, her memoir is described as a blend of personal and professional narratives rather than a conventional tell-all. Woolever recounts a memorable trip to procure fried chicken in Sri Lanka for a private rooftop dinner, showcasing the blend of normalcy and chaos in their lives.

Woolever’s experiences include not only highlights but also painful encounters. After starting her career under renowned chef Mario Batali, she recalls moments of both support and discomfort. “He wielded his power, sometimes in a really ugly way,” she asserts regarding Batali’s behavior, but acknowledges the positive influence Bourdain had in her career, as Batali recommended her to him when she was seeking new opportunities.

In the years leading to her memoir, Woolever maintained an “active journal practice” to guide her storytelling, complemented by years of correspondence with Bourdain. Their last communication occurred just weeks before his death, amid a tumultuous period for both. Woolever was dealing with personal challenges following the revelation of an affair just before Bourdain’s suicide, calling it “a one-two punch.”

The memoir not only recounts her professional relationship with Bourdain but also serves as a form of liberation from her role as his assistant. She embraces the memories they shared, stating, “I have Tony’s laser printer. I use it all the time, and I think of him.”

Describing her initial encounter with Bourdain, Woolever remembers her nervousness and expectations, which were quickly dismantled by his warmth. Their relationship evolved from professional to personal, highlighted by shared meals that cemented their camaraderie.

As Bourdain went public with his girlfriend, actress Asia Argento, in May 2017, Woolever managed the press surrounding their relationship. “Successfully managing this bit of business was the highlight of my week,” she reveals, illustrating her pivotal role behind the scenes.

However, their working dynamic faced turbulence when rumors and tabloid articles surfaced about Argento, resulting in increasingly stressful interactions. “When I asked Tony what he’d like me to do about the Enquirer, he said, ‘Ignore it,’” she recalls. Such moments are juxtaposed against the backdrop of Bourdain’s mental state, which became increasingly strained.

The news of Bourdain’s death left an indelible mark, as Woolever grappled with her grief and the public’s reaction. “The T-shirts, the candles, the posters… It was all quite a lot,” she reflects. Tributes poured in from fans worldwide, commemorating his lasting impact.

Through the lens of her memoir, Woolever aims to portray her journey alongside Bourdain, documenting both the highs and lows of an extraordinary, albeit tumultuous friendship. “If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text ‘STRENGTH’ to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to [suicidepreventionlifeline.org].”