Romantic Game Review: Humor Hides Flaws in ‘Date Everything’

LOS ANGELES, CA – The romantic game ‘Date Everything‘ is making waves for its quirky approach, but it struggles to define its genre. Released recently, this comedic dating simulator allows players to pursue affection from inanimate objects, creating a blend of humor and absurdity.

Unlike other dating simulators that offer emotional depth and commitment, ‘Date Everything’ presents a chaotic experience where players must romance numerous objects at once. With 100 potential partners, including tables and lamps, the focus shifts to quantity over quality.

The writing is genuinely funny, offering comedic interactions, yet the game lacks the narrative structure typical of successful dating sims. Players often find themselves seeing these romantic engagements as a “clickfest,” detracting from deeper connections.

Critics highlight that the game’s mechanics do not foster meaningful relationships. In a traditional dating sim like the iconic 1994 title, pursuing a relationship requires time, effort, and the potential for heartbreak. However, ‘Date Everything’ eliminates these stakes, allowing players to engage with dates without any real consequence. One player commented, ‘It makes me into nothing. I am the submissive counterpart to the attic dominatrix.’

The game also features content warnings designed to alert players about sensitive subjects, which feels out of place given the lighthearted premise. Conversations can quickly pivot toward serious issues like PTSD, leaving players confused about the tone.

Eventually, each romantic endeavor can lead to a character leaving, decompressing the effort and emotional investment put into the relationship. The endgame rewards players with a hollow feeling—’my ultimate reward is to see these characters leave me,’ one reviewer noted.

In a genre where emotional investment and engagement are key, ‘Date Everything’ falls short. The chaotic mix of humor, absurdity, and unengaging story arcs could leave players wishing for a more fulfilling dating experience. As the game poorly attempts to balance silliness and darker themes, it highlights why dating sims typically focus on fewer, well-developed characters.