UW-Madison Eliminates Engineering College to Fund Coach Buyout

Madison, Wisconsin — University of Wisconsin-Madison Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin announced on Tuesday that the College of Engineering will be eliminated to fund the $45 million buyout of head football coach Luke Fickell. This decision follows the Badgers’ recent 37-0 loss to Iowa, sparking outrage and celebration among students and alumni.

Mnookin stated that the move was essential for the long-term financial viability of the university. “While some students may be upset that we are cutting the College of Engineering and laying off staff, we believe this was the right choice moving forward,” she said.

The closing of the College of Engineering means that all eight departments will cease operations, leading to job losses and the discontinuation of engineering majors. “Either our football team would continue to be an embarrassment, or some students would need to switch majors. To us, the answer was clear,” Mnookin explained.

Reactions to the announcement have varied. In Milwaukee, Badger fans celebrated the news with chants of “U-S-A” during a Brewers game, expressing their relief over Fickell’s firing. “It was a big win for Madison as well as for America,” said Brewers Manager Patrick Murphy.

Ryan Jackson, a sophomore engineering student, shared his thoughts on the situation. “While I always dreamed of getting an engineering degree, I understand that some things are more important than diplomas. If not getting that piece of paper means the Badgers won’t struggle this season, I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” he said.

Dean of the College of Engineering, Devesh Ranjan, also expressed his disappointment. “While it kind of sucks that my colleagues and I are going to be out of jobs, I probably would’ve quit anyway with how the team has been performing,” he said.

The university now faces a challenging crossroad as it prioritizes athletics over academics, raising questions about its commitment to educational values.