Mother’s Day Reflections: Navigating Grief and Joy in New Motherhood

Today marks my second Mother's Day as a mother, a day that still feels surreal as the one receiving flowers and extra cups of tea.

Reflecting on last year, in the midst of newborn chaos with leaky nappies and sleepless nights, the idea of being the one celebrated didn’t quite register. The recent passing of my mother around the same time a year before had overshadowed the holiday, rendering it almost irrelevant as I couldn’t share the usual celebrations with her.

As my son’s first Mother’s Day approached, I found myself in a state of detachment from the festivities until my husband mentioned getting a card. After a slight mental adjustment, I started to embrace the celebratory spirit.

Giving birth shortly after experiencing loss was a unique journey, made even more challenging when my father passed away six months later. It felt as though the universe was nudging me into a new role while my son arrived amidst these profound losses, a balance of grief and joy that I’m grateful for.

There were moments when I wished my mother could share her wisdom and experiences of motherhood, to guide me through the sleepless nights and childhood illnesses, or simply to reassure me that I was doing okay as a new mom. Her absence sometimes feels like a missing piece in my transition to motherhood.

These conflicting emotions encapsulate my experience in recent years, where love, joy, and grief intertwine, shaping a complex path through new motherhood. Mother’s Day now feels like an unexpected gift, a moment of gratitude amidst the turmoil of life’s challenges.

While I miss my mother’s presence, the support of my in-laws and mum’s friends has been invaluable, filling the void with stories and shared memories. Embracing the title of motherhood, albeit with its bittersweet moments, is a journey that I am coming to terms with each passing day.

As I revel in the joy of being a mother to a loving, curious child, I acknowledge the absence of my own mother in these cherished moments. Yet, the warmth of my son’s embrace and his innocent gestures remind me that I am where I belong, amidst the chaos and beauty of new motherhood.

Looking ahead, I plan to fully embrace and celebrate Mother’s Day in the coming years, owning the joy and challenges that come with the title of ‘mom’.