Molly Jong-Fast Reflects on Her Complex Relationship with Mother Erica Jong

Canberra, Australia – In her new memoir, “How To Lose Your Mother,” Molly Jong-Fast navigates the emotional terrain of her relationship with her famous mother, Erica Jong. The book paints a vivid picture of Jong-Fast’s struggles during what she describes as “the worst year” of her life, as she cares for her ailing mother alongside managing her own responsibilities as a political commentator and mother of three.

As Jong’s health declines due to dementia, Jong-Fast balances the challenges of her high-profile job at MSNBC and CNN, alongside caring for her husband Max, who faces life-threatening cancer diagnoses. Amidst these trials, she must also help move her mother and stepfather into a nursing home, showcasing the difficult choices many face in caregiving.

The memoir delves deeply into the tensions in their relationship. Jong-Fast expresses profound love for her mother but also reveals her horror at the way she was raised. “I wish I’d asked her why, if she loved me so much, she didn’t ever want to spend time with me,” she writes, illustrating the complicated dynamic shaped by Jong’s fame and self-absorption.

Erica Jong skyrocketed to fame with the 1973 publication of her novel “Fear of Flying,” which resonated with a generation of women. Yet Jong-Fast describes a stark contrast between her mother’s early fame and the decline in public perception that followed. Jong-Fast notes that as her mother aged, she became more self-absorbed, believing the world was still eager to hear her voice while her daughter felt increasingly neglected.

Jong-Fast’s reflections bring a mix of humor and pain, as she captures the essence of a daughter witnessing her mother’s struggles with identity in the aftermath of fame. “Being able to get away with everything made her, in fact, very boring,” she writes, revealing her mother’s inability to engage authentically with her family.

The narrative also engages with broader themes of caregiving, fame, and the weight of legacy amid emotional chaos. Jong-Fast’s candid expression of her painful experiences touches on universal themes of familial relationships and attachment.

As Jong-Fast continues to navigate her own path as a writer and public intellectual, her memoir offers a poignant account of her efforts to make sense of her relationship with Erica Jong. With a blend of gratitude and frustration, she concludes, “It is my job to make sense of the past, of her life, our relationship.”